FIVE - Life is sexually transmitted.
FOUR - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
THREE - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
TWO - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006: We know exactly where one cow with mad cow disease is located among the millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration and national security.